You will know when it exists -- Obscure journalism direct from our man on the ground.

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Cannabis Reform in Malta - Protests in Valletta

‘RE-LEGALIZE! 0 deaths….. EVER’
(but it certainly can change the direction of a life.)

Whilst surfing the voice of the people on facebook I came across Nicky Sciculuna’s excellent photos (used here) from the first Maltese Cannabis Reform Demonstration held in Malta on 17/12/11.
Having just smoked a small joint myself I am listening to reggae music like 'World A Reggae Music' by Anthony B and 'Downpresser Man' by Peter Tosh. I look at the 300 strong crowd. Some wearing typical ethical get-up: New-Age-Rasta cum Hippies blowing Digereedoos, boshing bongos and, holding signs…
‘God made Marijuana – Man made Pharmaceuticals – Who do you trust?’
That old ticket; I trust both equally thank you very much… I just took some Co-Dydramol as well – cheers for those pain killers man.

For arguments sake I think dressing like a stereotypical world-music-listening middleclass-traveller scares The Man at some deep suppressed level. He fears what he might become if his country is a place where the majority of people dress like that.
Though aside from this he needn’t worry about their protests, they don't faze him: it just looks like the choir trying to convert the preachers.
But when men at the front of the protest-pack are wearing suits and glasses (a more Smart-casual/Intelectual-informal dresscode) marching in solidarity, signs saying -
‘Dealers don’t check ID’s – Protect Kids - Legalise Marijuana’
This forces The Man to consider the morality of the situation and question the economics of the action. Of passing the law... Going double-Dutch.

Here’s the economics as I see it. Legalizing Marijuana in Malta would most greatly affect the ever important Tourism industry. The Malta Government Tourist Board currently seems to market the destination towards the cultural vulture, a good wholesome tourist, a cruiser. In his paper on *'Problems with Cultural Tourism in Malta' Jeremy Boissevain describes The Man’s search for *‘a “quality tourist”, one who would come in off-peak season’. Well they would certainly get that, I can see it now...
–The Amsterdamn On The Med –
...and The Man can see that too, the pot-tax: the dollar signs flash in his cartoon eyes. But God slaps him back to reality, how would Jesus feel if Jah began gaining favour in Parliamnet?
The many Language Schools in Malta would inevitably loose business too. I know my Mum and Dad wouldn’t expect me to come back speaking a language if they sent me to learn it on an island where weed was legal to purchase right there on the beach. I would come back tanned and jamming “wo wo wo yeah!” - my English worse than when I left.
All in all I think it’s a good thing that people are standing up for what they believe and vocalizing their concerns. However I hope there is no fervour or commotion over the Protest for Reform. It’s a pity they have to draw attention to it at all. When I lived there 4 years ago all you could buy was hash, block, shit, chocolate whatever you call it.
If only they could just get on with the job at hand and quietly cultivate it.
Plant a few seeds. Permission or not.
Realistically this is the only way I see there being any chance of us getting some good stinking green Cali-Weed next time we visit.

Get real.
Help him as best you can by signing this petition.

*Quote taken from Sustainable tourism in Mediterranean Islands & Small Cities edited by CARMEL FSADNI AND TOM SELWYN. 1997.

Friday, 2 December 2011

A walk-in with a Turning-tramp*

Up ahead I saw him.

Weaving to avoid invisible obstacles.

Blocking my path.

He wore a green duffel coat.

Hood up.

I made to overtake him.


I turned to look at his face.

What I saw made my own face visibly change, though only slightly.

Some how he recognised my shock.

He smirked with a gremlin triumph.

The drool remained.

The spittle-string slowly dripped from his blond beard.

I walked even faster.


Traffic stopped me at the lights.

I watched him sluggishly approach.

He pushed through the crowd.

Stood right beside me.

He whispered in my ear.


Thanks mate.

*A Turning-tramp (TT), Fledgling- tramp or NYH (Not Yet Homeless) can be characterised by a more co-ordinated get-up than a real homeless person. They are generally in motion as opposed to sat. It is clear to all but themselves that they will soon reach full blown tramp status.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Prose Experiment; partially successful. Blog; bigger.

I'm a fan of Ernest Hemingway and I am also trying to get better at writing.

Sometimes people write too much and leave nothing to the imagination. Just alluding to something and letting the reader imagine the rest for themselves can sometimes be a satisfying device for both reader and writer.

Apparently Heminway was challenged to write a story in 6 words
and this was his response:
For sale: Babies shoes, never worn.

I thought I would give it a go. My first attempt was a bit iffy:
Reluctantly the Eskimo discarded the Goldfish.

The Guardian newspaper challenged contemporary authors to do the same here are some of my favourites:

Megan's baby: John's surname, Jim's eyes.
 (Simon Armitage)

"It can't be. I'm a virgin."
(Kate Atkinson)

Funeral followed honeymoon. He was 90.
 (Graham Swift)

If anyone reading this wants to have a go then I would enjoy to reading your outputs.

Here was the 2nd one I came up with (made into a picture because I just got my new computer and software up and running teehee.)

Dolphin 'Disturbances' On The Rise

Time now for an update on Dolphin behaviour.

Sound familiar?

No, then maybe that is because they [The Dolphins] have used their sonic mind powers to make their victims [possibly you included] believe that it was all innocent and consensual. Or even more likely; used their sonic mind powers to make you forget it ever happened at all - like The Men In Black of the ocean.

Fortunately not everyone can forget. Interviewed after her recent visit to Sea World (the controversial marine fun park and research centre) Clare Taylor stated "After the incident I only buy Tuna caught using Dolphin killing nets."


Thats right, what started as a fun holiday outing can turn very ugly - very quickly. My advise: Cross 'Swim with Dolphins' off your 'Things to do before I die list' ...unless you inclined slippery freakiness akin to this self confessed Delphinic Zoophile.

Need more proof: